An Homage to Mothers

4 05 2014

Mother’s Day is a week away so I decided to go ahead and post my editorial in honor of mothers everywhere. Moms in America, this is for you.

 

As we pause to remember mothers on Mother’s Day, let us reflect on the meaning of the word motherhood.

 

Dissecting the word motherhood, we have mother, meaning to attend to, or take care of. It is a maternal instinct for mothers to care for, or nurture. A mother’s uncontrollable impulse to tuck the covers around her child’s neck, or reach across the car toward her child when she hits the brakes, is renowned.

 

Then there is hood, meaning a cover for the head. So this gives us motherhood, which obviously, means to take care of the hat. And isn’t that why we love mothers so much… because they take care of our hats? They make sure our heads are covered before we go outside.

 

It is now clear, by definition, that without mothers, the hat would have died out centuries ago. We would now be a hatless society, the ramifications of which are too frightening to fathom- which, by the way, means a depth of six feet. It is the fear of a hatless world which brings us an appreciation for mothers worldwide.

Without that hat, William Pharrell would just be a happy guy singing a...no, he would still be famous.

Without that hat, William Pharrell would just be a happy guy singing a…no, he would still be famous.

 

Sure, mothers nag us about our hats, but imagine the upheaval wrought by a world with no hats. Imagine watching a baseball game and not a single player has a ball cap. What will the players wave to the crowd after hitting a home run? Imagine, if you will, the Kentucky Derby or Royal celebrations in the old country with no fascinators. Magicians would have to pull rabbits from their pants. Every day would be a bad hair day for cowboys with their wind-blown locks. Smokey would be just another bear. Robin would be hoodless. Graduates would have to hang their tassels from their ears, switching from the right ear to the left upon graduation. No one could run for political office because they wouldn’t have a hat to throw into the ring. No one would be able to keep a secret since there would be nothing to keep it under. Simply put, the world as we know it would not exist. So, let’s tip our hats to mothers, without whom, we would have to tip our gloves or shoes.

Is that a Smurf or member of Blue Man Group? Without a hat, who can tell?

Is that a Smurf or member of Blue Man Group? Without a hat, who can tell?

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