Fox News

21 06 2016

I get my news from the Fox News Channel (FNC). I’m an early riser and, usually, have all of my showering and shaving done by 4:15, or so. By the time I finish my quiet time, I can catch the end of last night’s Special Report with Brett Baier. After that comes Fox & Friends First, and then at 6:00 is Fox and Friends. Of course, by the time Fox & Friends comes on, I’ve already seen all of the news, but they will have interesting guests from time to time. When I first came up with the idea for this post, it was because I was annoyed at the way FNC will latch on to a major (or minor) story, such as a commercial airliner crash, or more recently, the terrorist shooting at a gay night club in Orlando, and give it relentless coverage for the next two or three days, as if there is nothing else going on in the world.  But when I began writing, all of these other issues came to mind; so, I decided to broaden the scope of the post by including some of my other pet peeves. After all, this is a rant but I’ll bet a lot of FNC viewers will agree with much of what I have written.


Smart Folks

First, understand that Fox doesn’t hire just any schmuck and hand them a microphone. For all the flubs and annoyances, Fox reporters, and particularly the on air personalities, are intelligent and well-educated people…especially on the national level. Most come to Fox with extensive experience and loads of talent. That is probably true of all networks.


Grammatical Executioners

Experience and talent don’t necessarily equate to quality of delivery, as demonstrated by the daily slaughter of good grammar. Many are not very good grammarians-not even close; and, that includes those who possess English degrees. For example, many don’t seem to understand the rules for using I and me. And some are notorious for slipping a personal pronoun in behind the subject, e.g. “President Obama, he lied to voters about Obamacare.” You already mentioned the subject once so there’s no need to add the superfluous personal pronoun.


“You’re not Going to Believe This!”

In one particular episode of Andy Griffith, Andy and Barney have been charged by town council with selling an old, worthless, eyesore of a Civil War era canon. When the first prospective buyer came along, Andy made up a story of the canon being used during the Spanish-American war and how it was Teddy Roosevelt’s favorite. He later felt guilty and admitted that his story was a complete lie. He explained to Opie, who had done the same thing to sweeten a trade with a friend, that he made up a good story to sell the product.


As I write this post, I am watching as FNC runs a story about an alligator spotted near a ride at Disney World. This comes less than a week following the tragic alligator-related death of a two-year old boy at the same park. The lead-in by the FNC anchor described it as “disturbing video of a worker fighting off an alligator” to protect park-goers. I envisioned a worker grappling with a 12-foot alligator while park patrons run in terror. The video actually shows an employee calmly reaching down toward a 3-foot, motionless alligator floating on the surface of the water, with a long metal pole to keep him at bay. The caption below the video describes it as “Shocking video.” And to make matters worse, it’s a video shot in 2009! Sorry, Fox. I don’t see disturbing or shocking in this video. I do see a broken down canon charging up San Juan Hill, however. I guess non-sensational stories don’t sell but, how about truth in reporting?


Time Misers

It really bugs me how they won’t allow enough time for personal interviews and then will keep interrupting the interviewee until they finally cut them off before any substantive information can be revealed.


Tunnel Viewers

I guess the thing that bugs me the most about Fox is when a major event such as the recent shooting in Orlando happens. For the next two or three days, all day long, that’s all you’ll see on Fox. Throughout the day, you’ll see the same video and interviews on Fox BusinessFox Lifetime, Sheepherder Smith Reporting and every other Fox show.

Once you get through Fox & Friends First, you may as well switch over and watch re-runs of Bewitched and Get Smart because for the next 48 to 72 hours, you aren’t likely to see anything new other than the new characters they’ll round up for another Fox Alert interview.


This is a Fox News Alert!

Let’s take a fictitious story-say a truck hauling hogs to the slaughter-house turned over on Interstate 64 (For you Californians that would be the 64.) outside Louisville, Kentucky. They’ll open with a Fox News Alert. Then one of the anchors, perhaps Ainsley Hardears, or one of the other curvy couch occupants, will give us the story, including everything known up to that point. Next, they’ll switch to on-the-scene reporter, Leland Dither, who will interview all of the witnesses, including truck drivers, A.C Petty and Burt and Naomi Wideload, both of whom happened to be passing by and stopped to corral runaway pigsAnd, when they run out of witnesses, they’ll start bringing in the experts for interviews. There’s Mr. Eugene Stinchpits. He’s a truck driver who, like Mr. Petty, hauls hogs for a living, but for a different company. He will be one of the subject matter experts. Then there’s Robert C. Washburn, who is president of the American Pork and Hog Breeders Association. He will provide insight on the challenge of wheeling 500 squealing hogs through Louisville at rush hour. Then Dr. Keith Loblow will discuss the psychological toll on drivers taking hogs to their doom and may suggest Mr. Petty’s death was an attempted suicide by motor vehicle.


Then they’ll bring in FNC’s up and coming young reporter, Peter “Peter Rabbit” Doozy who will interview Thomas T. Hullscraper of the National Transportation Safety Board who will provide a computer model which will show how the hogs were tossed about during the crash and provide speculation on how so many managed to survive the crash. All these clips will be repeated 15 times every hour in case viewers missed it the first 14 times.


The following day, Barack Hussein Obama will address the press in an impromptu press conference and try to find some way to blame President Bush and the GOP for this terrible massacre of innocent animals and at the same time decry a lack of gun control as the blame for all that is bad in America. Later, in a follow-up press conference, Chief Washington Correspondent, James Frozen will ask White House Press Secretary, Josh Earnestless, why the president refuses to say the words pig, pork or swine and instead refers to the truck’s cargo as cargo.


Schmucker Carlson will have the assignment of interviewing A.C. Petty. It’ll probably go something like this:

SC: Mr. Petty, you drive a truck hauling hogs for the Dine on Swine Trucking Company, a job that keeps you behind the wheel for up to 8 hours every day with a herd of squealing hogs right behind your head, right?

Petty: Yes, sir.

SC: How does it feel driving hundreds of noisy hogs to their deaths?

Petty: Well, to be honest…

SC: Yes, let’s be honest. Do you go through any emotions while driving hogs down the road?

Petty: Well, I have to say…

SC: I’m sorry, Mr. Petty, we’ve run out of time but thank you, sir for joining us.


Still Number One

Don’t get me wrong. In spite of all my criticism, I’ll take FNC over any other network because I like to know what’s going on in the world and in America. I resent the purveyor of news opting not to share a story because they see it as politically incorrect or slanting a story to fit their own ideology. Fox may seem to be conservatively biased, but they bring the story regardless. Unlike ABC, NBC and CBS, they aren’t in the president’s hip pocket. And, while it may not be grammatically, or even politically, correct, you can count on getting the story that liberal America wants to sweep under the rug. I’m willing to tolerate a few pet peeves to get a fair and balanced report that other networks are too cowardly to air.





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