It Doesn’t Matter Where You Sit!

30 06 2014

I was flying from Tampa to Atlanta, recently, when a lady came down the aisle carrying her diaper-clad infant. I was sitting by the aisle, which put me close enough when she walked by, that the child’s foot grazed my shoulder.

The cloud of stink wafted through the plane.

The cloud of stink wafted through the plane.

It took about two seconds for the invisible cloud of baby stench to reach me, making it obvious where the lady was going. She was on her way to the rest room to change the baby’s diaper.

PeeeeeYew!

PeeeeeYew!

Oh, geez! The air was suddenly thick with the smell of baby poop, hitting me and those around me like a jump into a frozen lake, or as Rex would say, “a round house kick to the face.” Gosh, what on earth had they been feeding that kid? I’m pretty sure it’s against the law to feed a baby tacos and cabbage- if not, then it should be for the sake of those around him. As they made their way down the aisle toward the back of the plane, you could hear the other passengers moan and mutter as the piercing aroma wafted into their breathing zone. It would have been funny had it not been so painfully offensive. A couple of passengers actually got up and walked as far forward as they could get.

I could have wallowed in self-pity, as my life passed before my weeping eyes; but, I was more concerned about the mother who would soon find herself trapped behind a locked door in a space barely large enough to wipe your nose, let alone anything else-your own or that of another person.

Of course, those who have never had kids of their own were a little less understanding of the young mother’s plight. She didn’t put this putrid patty in the kid’s diaper. She didn’t fill the cabin with this stifling stink that leaves the smell of singed hair in your nostrils and a jaw-puckering tang in your mouth. But now, after her walk of shame down the aisle of the plane, she’s probably going to request entry into the witness protection program so she can go hide under a new identity in Hutchinson, Kansas. Gotta love parenthood.

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2 responses

30 06 2014
Jackie Garner

I am laughing so hard right now

4 07 2014
Bill Taylor

Then my work is done!

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