The Bear Wrestler

5 06 2014

No, I’ve never wrestled a bear but these weird thoughts just pop into my mind so I write them down. Don’t ask me what made me think of a poem about bear wrestling. My wife thinks I’m a little off-center. I just tell her I have a creative mind. Be that as it may, here is my latest thought.

My boss told me he had a deal that I could not refuse.m011-kerwin1-0104y-2
He said he’d scheduled me to wrestle a bear.
I figured, hey, I have the time and the money I can use.
I wondered if any of my friends would be there.

So, all decked out in my wrestling gear, I went down to the mall
Where the big event was to be held.
But this giant thing they called a bear was over nine feet tall!
“I’m not going near that thing!” I yelled.

But then my boss reminded me that we had made a deal
And if I should ever hoped to stay employed
Then I would have to follow through, even though I might get killed
By this giant, hairy creature on steroids.

So, full of fear and trepidation, I climbed into the ring
And thinking I would take him by surprise,
I ran straight at him before the bell could “ding”
But he saw me from the corners of his eyes.

So, I jumped up with all my might and grabbed him by the head
It felt like I was clinging to a train.
Then he stood up and flung me off. I thought that I was dead.
That’s’ when I began to feel the pain.

Now I have never claimed to be the sharpest knife in the drawer
But even I could see this was a losing cause.
So I quickly scurried toward the ropes to get back on the floor.
That was when he grabbed me with his paws.

He held me high above his head then threw me from the ring.
My fall was broken by two security staff
Then I looked up at “Yogi” and couldn’t say a thing
‘cause, I never knew a bear could laugh.

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