Go Redskins!

1 11 2013

As I understand it, the vast majority of Indians surveyed are not offended by the use of the name “Redskins” by the Washington football team. After all, the name was chosen because it bespeaks of a brave warrior and not the denigration of any race of people. It seems it’s mostly those of the Oneida tribe who are crying foul. Come on Oneidians, get a life. Don’t you, like the rest of us, have enough to worry about? I mean, you still have to figure out how to sign up for Obamacare for crying out loud and you’re making noise about a football teams nick name. Hey, they named a flatware after you. Doesn’t that count for something? You don’t hear me screaming about Buffalo and demanding they change their name. I’m not the least bit offended. And I don’t hear northerners complaining about the New York Yankees name.

If you’re still mad about that Manhattan Island thing, then you should take that up with the Dutch or Michael Bloomberg but to be offended because of a name is a little over-sensitive.

Well, I have given this issue a great deal of thought and believe I have come up with the perfect solution to the Washington Redskins name controversy. It’s an idea that should make everyone happy. In fact, the solution was so simple; I can’t believe no one has already come up with the answer.

The original redskin

The original redskin

Rather than change the name of the team, the Redskins should change their mascot. Instead of the Indian, they should change their mascot to the, are you ready, the potato. Who could be offended by that? If they want to keep the Indian, fine, just change the logo to an Indian eating a bowl of redskin mashed potatoes. Even Indians enjoy a good hot potato once in a while. Instead of the Indian warrior riding bareback onto the field, they could have an Indian ride out on the field driving a John Deere tractor pulling a trailer loaded with potatoes.

Think of it-cheerleaders wearing potato sack skirts, fans with foam potato heads. Their spokesman could be Ron White. Instead of the traditional coin toss to decide who gets the ball first, team captains could meet at the 50 yard line and do one potato, two potato. They could have potato night at the ballpark and give a potato to the first 10,000 fans. Concessions could provide, in addition to French fries, boiled potatoes, mashed potatoes, potatoes au gratin, potato salad, baked potatoes, twice baked potatoes, thrice baked potatoes. The possibilities are endless. And best of all…no one can take offense. Well, that’s not quite true. Mr. Potato Head might not be happy with the new name but hey, it’s for the common good, right? Go Skins!

Captain Spud

Captain Spud

Washington Cheerleader

Washington Cheerleader

Tater Salad!

Tater Salad!

 

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