I’m All Thumbs!

28 09 2013
Flash Thumbs!

Flash Thumbs!

I stood in line at Dunkin-Donuts at Lambert Airport in St. Louis watching a thirty-something young lady in front of me texting. As she composed her message, her thumbs moved so quickly they were a blur. It looked like she had six thumbs. Remember that scene from The Big Bang Theory in which Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Raj all dressed up as the Flash, and Raj suggested they walk in single file so they would appear to be one person moving really fast? I mean letters were appearing on her phone screen faster than the rising numbers on the national debt tote board. I have seen young people text before, and I emphasize young people because, although my generation does text, few can text with the speed of a Smith Corona. That’s not a beer, young people-it’s a typewriter. It seems that most of my generation, myself included, uses the single digit technique or SDT. I prefer the right index finger. My wife, I have noticed, is a pinky texter.

Flash!

Flash!

Then, I asked myself, why not me? I have two thumbs which are just as nimble and mobile as hers, so why can’t I text with both thumbs? Oh wait, I don’t text. But, I could compose my emails faster by using both thumbs and kicking them into passing gear.

So, after I bought and ate my breakfast, I checked my email and had one I wanted to respond to. With my Droid firmly seated in both hands, thumbs at the ready, I began.

“Thsrxb, ///donht gaaspr?/.” I looked at what I had typed and quickly decided I could type faster, or at least with some semblance of accuracy, if I use my SDT. Even my autocorrect was confused. If autocorrect was human, I have no doubt that old adage- didn’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt- would be appropriate here. I tried again and this time dropped my Droid. I looked around to make sure no one was watching as I picked it up. That’s it. I gave it the old college try. Back to reality.

I guess my brain can’t keep up with two thumbs working in total disharmony. I’ll be happy peck, peck, pecking along with my right index finger, ya’ll.

My, my, my, my, my Corona! Forgive me, I couldn't resist.

My, my, my, my, my Corona! Forgive me, I couldn’t resist.

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4 responses

28 09 2013
Brian

Keep practicing, old fella. You’ll get it.

29 09 2013
Bill Taylor

I don’t think I could practice enough. It’s like trying to teach a dog to jump on a pogo stick-some things just can’t be done.

28 09 2013
Cecilia

That cracked me up!

29 09 2013
Bill Taylor

The sad thing is, it’s a true story. Hi to Kevin.

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