Holiday Tree? Give Me A Break!

4 12 2011

Well, it looks like Governor Lincoln Chaffee of Rhode Island has kicked off the annual Christmas war. Last week in a pathetic show of political correctness, he declared the Rhode Island State House Christmas tree as the “Holiday tree” citing a 1663 Colonial charter and the legacy of state founder, Roger Williams. In his own defense the governor stated, “I just want to make sure I’m doing everything possible in this building to honor Roger Williams.”

The Grinch Who Governed Rhode Island


Careful Whom You Honor

The holiday of which the governor speaks is of course, Christmas, a day set aside to honor the birth of Christ the Savior, hence the name Christmas. Instead of doing everything to honor the legacy of Roger Williams, a slave trader and cold-blooded killer of Indians, according to Julianne Jennings, adjunct professor of anthropology at Rhode Island College, perhaps the governor should be more concerned with honoring Jesus Christ or at least respecting the wishes of his Christian constituents who choose to do so.


The governor states it is in the tradition of past governors and Roger Williams, to recognize the state of Rhode Island as a haven of tolerance. So, Gov where is your tolerance for Christians? If the governor is so concerned about offending anyone by publicly using the word Christmas then perhaps he should give consideration to offending others as well. I mean if we’re going to be politically correct then let’s do it right.


Holiday Tree? Looks Like A Christmas Tree To Me!

I therefore offer the following suggestions:

Valentine’s Day: There are those among us who are very sensitive about a recent break-up or a failed romance. So that we don’t risk rubbing salt into a fresh wound, we’ll change Valentine’s Day to Friendship Day.


St. Patrick’s Day: We don’t want to offend the non-Irish among us so from this moment on, we will refer to St. Patrick’s Day as Green Day. We can drop Earth Day and combine the two by encouraging everyone to wear green-not to honor St. Patrick but Mother Earth-only Martians could take offense to that. In doing so, we please the tree huggers and light bulb police yet still keep the Irish happy.


Cinco de Mayo? Nobody knows what that day is for anyway so we’ll simply call it The Fifth of May and give everyone the day off work. That way, no one will care.


Easter: If we can’t observe the birth of Jesus Christ then heaven forbid we observe His death and resurrection. We’ll simply call this Bunny Day. Kids can fill their Holiday baskets with Holiday eggs hidden by the Holiday Bunny.


Independence Day: No doubt, there are quite a few in our midst from the Old Country. I would hate for them to take offense because we like to celebrate the butt-kicking we gave them back in 1776. Instead of Independence Day we will simply say Summer Festivus thus removing any reference to independence and any connotations of, shhhh…w-a-r.


Memorial Day: Speaking of w-a-r, how offensive it must be to the Japanese, the Germans, and the Vietnamese, not to mention the terrorists who have declared Jihad against the U.S., to watch as we pay homage to those who lost their lives defending our freedom. I suppose the only PC thing to do is to honor all those who lost their lives in battle, including our enemies. Since the word “memorial” makes no reference to a particular country such as the United States, we could just leave it as is, but so everyone recognizes the new intent of the holiday and has no reason to be offended, we’ll give it a new name…Casualties of Conflict Day.


Veterans Day: While we’re on the subject, keep in mind our enemies also have military veterans so in a sense of fairness we’ll make only a minor change here and refer to Veterans Day as International Veterans Day.


Columbus Day: We certainly don’t want to offend the American Indian…pardon my faux-pas…the Native American, so we will change Columbus Day to Meet Your Neighbor Day. Isn’t that what Columbus did? He didn’t discover anything. He simply came over and made new friends. I would also like to point out that by virtue of being born in the United States I too am a native American, as is most everyone who is reading this.


Thanksgiving: Everyone shops, if not to buy gifts to put under the Holiday tree, then to buy toilet paper and turkey, so we’ll officially adopt Black Friday as the holiday and what is currently known as Thanksgiving will be known as Black Friday eve. 


To any sensible person, political correctness is an exercise in futility. Regardless of what you do or say, someone is going to take offense. To most sensible people, political correctness is offensive. The same atheist football fan who insists on wishing you happy holidays will cry foul when it is suggested his favorite team change their name from Redskins to Chipmunks or something equally “non-offensive.” Instead of pandering to the easily offended, people should become more tolerant. Instead of honoring a racist murderer, perhaps the good governor of Rhode Island should consider the wishes of his constituency and practice a little religious tolerance himself. After all, isn’t that why we came here in the first place?




12 responses

16 12 2011
Julianne Jennings

The reference to Williams selling slaves and as executioner can be found:

Execution of Chuff, ” (RI Historical Society, The Foster Collection, Vol. 1., 234-240; Early Records of the Town of Providence, Vol. 15, 152).

6 01 2012
Bill Taylor

I meant to respond to this comment some time ago but it slipped away from me. Just wanted to say that I think in this case, Ms. Jennings is much more informed on the subject of Williams than the governor of RI. Thanks for the comment, Julianne!

26 12 2011
Bert Meador

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27 12 2011
Bill Taylor

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27 12 2011
Tommy Straseskie

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27 12 2011
Bill Taylor

Spoken by someone who obviously has his head on straight! I’m glad you enjoed it.

27 12 2011
Earle Summerhill

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27 12 2011
Bill Taylor

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27 12 2011
Vicki Slomkowski

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27 12 2011
Bill Taylor

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2 01 2012
Angel Suladrena

When I go before God s throne and enter His presence in prayer for someone else I believe God already knows what is going on in that persons life.

3 01 2012
Bill Taylor

Amen! Psalm 139:1-5.

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