Girls and Their Hair

10 06 2011

Well, thanks to my last post, Just Shut-up and Keep Packing, the cat’s out of the bag. Readers now know that my wife uses lots of shampoo-that’s lots of different kinds of shampoo. And for most shampoos there is a conditioner. That means lots of bottles. Bottles on the side of the tub. Bottles under the sink. Bottles in the linen closet, under the bed, in the guest room, in the pantry. Everywhere you look there are bottles of shampoo and conditioner. There are days when stepping into the shower is like stepping over a picket fence because of all the hair care product bottles lining the side of the tub. And I can tell you this…that stuff isn’t


cheap. I could probably buy a new truck with the money my wife spent on all this stuff. Don’t misunderstand me; I’m not complaining. I’m just trying to entertain my blog readers. Actually, I think her hair looks great and smells even better.

I’m like Ozzy Osborne and the G’s, “How many bloody shampoos are there?” I really believe the shampoo manufacturers succeed through the power of suggestion. They put the same product in every bottle but with a different label. This one is a fortifying shampoo, this one is a body booster, this one is a color shield, this one is for frizzy hair, split ends, oily hair, dry hair, ad infinitum. Bull! It’s all the same stuff but through some slick marketing they lead the consumer to believe each is a different product with unique abilities, while in reality, they just wash your hair. But the truth is, they are making billions and a big chunk of that is from our bank account. And so I think to myself, Just shut-up and keep complimenting her hair! And put that shampoo in the suitcase! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go cook my wife’s breakfast before she gets out of bed.

The Ode to Haircare




Up in the morning and into the tub

It’s time to start the day

Which shampoo should I use on my hair

Pantene, Clairol, or Garnier?

Does my hair need more body?

Is it damaged or split?

Is it frizzy, oily or dry?

Is the color still strong?

Does it need more volume?

Do I need to fortify?


With so much to consider

And so much at stake

How does a girl decide?

I guess I could just forget it all

And simply stay inside

If I use the wrong thing

And my hair should look bad

I may have a panic attack

I wonder if it is true what they say

That I’m a TRESemme-niac




2 responses

10 06 2011

It really does matter!!! Why do you think we have some customers who spend well over $100 per trip into the store? And I know first hand… I’m a girl.

10 06 2011
Bill Taylor

You’re not only a girl, you’re a professional. How could I doubt you? After all, you’re talking to a guy who bought his wife an entire case of her favorite soap.

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