Creative Resumѐing

27 11 2010

I read an article in the newspaper this week about a young man, 24 years old, who spent two weeks posing as an intern shadowing doctors at a Fayetteville, NC hospital emergency room.  The young man claimed to have graduated from medical school at the University of Tennessee but his name was not found among university records. He isn’t the first to get busted after “enhancing” his resume.

So many jobs have opened up recently, which I don’t think I would qualify for, given my own history. (Don’t worry partners; I’m not in the job market.) But this got me to thinking of ways I could write my own resume in a creative way which would improve my chances of being selected for the university president position, or CEO of Coca-Cola. It might look something like this:

Previous Work History

Position Held Responsibilities Actual Job Actual Responsibilities
District Chief Operating Officer for

The News and Observer

Oversaw packaging, distribution, transportation operations and maintenance for 144 clients throughout district. Paperboy (12-14 years old)  Got up at 4 a.m. to fold and deliver newspapers to 144 customers via my Schwinn bicycle.
Product Grading and Acquisitions Manager Evaluated and procured product for processing Tobacco harvester

(14-15 years old)

Determine which leaves were ripe and pulled them from the tobacco stalk.
Water and Sewer Supply and Conveyance Engineer Assured uninterrupted supply of water and flow of wastewater for customers. Plumber (17 years old) Repaired leaks, installed water heaters and toilets.
Residential Developer Residential development construction Carpenter (16 years old) Built houses
Director, Essentials Sanitation Responsible for prevention of spread of disease Dishwasher at A&W Root Beer (10 years old) Washed mugs and dishes
Chief, Staples Re-Supply and Distribution Assuring available food supplies for starving families Stock boy (16 years old) Re-stocked grocery shelves and made home deliveries
Director, Local Sales Responsible for advertising, sales, and distribution of manufactured products Boy Scout (11-14 years old) Sold magazine subscriptions one year (2 total sales)
Volunteer Activities      
Chief Activities Coordinator Team leader and motivator Quarterback-Maplewood Midgets football team (13 years old) Called and ran plays
Professor, Old and New Testament Lead educationalist in Biblical studies Sunday school teacher Prepared and taught Sunday school lessons

                                                               

With a resume like this, I should qualify for most any high-level position. Let me know if I can help you enhance your resume.

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2 responses

29 11 2010
Wendy Brown

lol! I will have to remember these when I am updating my resume!! love it!!

29 11 2010
Bill Taylor

A little creativity is good.

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