The New Purse

20 02 2010

Off to the Mall

My wife and I went Christmas shopping. Her sole objective for this trip was to find gifts for our two daughters-in-law. She began her search at one of the many ladies clothing stores at the busiest mall in the county. Did I say county? Maybe I should have said country, as it seemed everyone in America decided they needed to shop on this particular day at this particular mall.

As usual, I headed off in a different direction. I have discovered, after 38 years of marriage, there are several reasons I should not stick around while my wife digs through rack after rack of blouses, slacks, and lingerie. Aside from the fact it is extremely boring, I bring no expertise or innate value to this operation. I have the taste of three-week old bananas…rotten- and the patience of a puppy at feeding time. So, about all I can do is provide moral support. Besides, I had a mission of my own. My wife’s watch broke recently, so I decided to surprise her with a new one.

As she entered the store, I told her I was going to Barnes and Noble. This was the truth; I was just planning to make a little detour along the way. What I failed to realize, at the time, were the signs plastered on all the store windows announcing 30 percent off all store merchandise. Not that it would have made any difference. I rarely try to discourage, or have the need to discourage, my wife from spending a lot of money. Shopping is not something she enjoys.

So, I disappeared into the mall in search of her new watch.

Nearly two hours later I had already walked half the mall, and back, and purchased the watch. On top of that, I had read half of Going Rogue, while standing in Barnes and Noble, when, finally, my wife called me on my cell phone to say she was ready to go. With that, we returned home and I brought the spoils of the day into the house.

Oh, Joy of Joys- A New Bag!

I thought the bags felt quite heavy considering what she was planning to buy. Sure enough she had taken advantage of the 30 percent off sale and gotten a few extras. One of the things she got was a new purse for herself. I certainly don’t begrudge her buying anything for herself, since she does it so rarely; but, I just don’t understand the new purse because she has so many already.

I watched as she sat, emptying her old purse of its contents to transfer them into her new bag. Several things went through my mind as I watched what, by now, has become a ritual. It occurred to me there was enough purse leather in our closet to cloak an entire herd of cattle.

I have been carrying the same wallet in my hip pocket for over twenty years now. Yes, it has taken the shape of my derriere, and yes, it is beginning to lose some of the stitching, but it still holds everything I need to carry when I go out. Why do women feel the need to have a new purse every 6 months or so? I’ll just chalk it up as another of the many mysteries of women; and, it is a cheap price to pay for her happiness-especially at 30 percent off!

As I watched the transfer of valuables, I wondered if women get excited about getting a new purse. Whenever I get a new computer bag, and I’ve gone through a few over the years, I feel a slight sense of excitement getting everything organized as I go about fitting everything into the little cubbies and pockets in the new bag. It can be fun trying to find the perfect place to store all these things. I asked my wife if she experiences the same type of excitement; and, she assured me she does.

Maybe that explains why she likes to get a new purse every six months or so. I guess transferring your possessions from one location to another is just one of life’s simple pleasures, and who am I to deprive my wife of pleasure?

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